Post by ozrose on Oct 6, 2013 21:24:50 GMT 8
Bruce woke up with a killer hangover after attending his best mate's bucks night. He didn't even remember how he got home. He looked at the clock and it was 11.30am.
What day is it? Thursday.. His missus must have gone to work.
As he struggled into consciousness through the fog of a pounding headache, his stomach plummeted as he wondered what the hell he did last night..
He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was a couple of Dispirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a little vase of sweet peas, freshly picked from the garden.
He sat up. The bedroom was clean and tidy, - there was no trail of drunkenly abandoned clothes, fresh air was coming in through the window and all was serene. He stumbled to the bathroom, also pristine, and, squinting gingerly into the mirror, saw that he had a black eye. This was not a good sign, but no memories were returning.
As he concentrated hard on getting the world into focus, he saw a post-it note stuck on the corner of the mirror. It was written in red, with little hearts on it and a kiss from his missus.
'I'll ring your boss and tell them you won't be in today. Breakfast is in the oven. Try to eat something and go back to bed for the morning. iFish is on TV this afternoon. Take it easy today, hope your eye doesn't hurt too much. See you tonight. I love you, darling!
Love,
Sheila. x '
He stumbled to the kitchen and sure enough, there was hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the newspaper. His teenaged son was sitting at the table, eating.
Bruce, bracing himself, asked his son what happened the previous night.
Well, you came home after 3 A.M., pissed as a parrot and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you vomited in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. '
Confused, Bruce asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect order, Dispirins by the bed, a nice note from Mum and breakfast waiting for me?'
His son replied, 'Oh THAT!... Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your trousers off, you screamed,
'Leave me alone ya' bushpig! ..., I'm married!!'
Broken Coffee Table $350
Hot Breakfast $5.50
Two Dispirins 60 cents
Saying the right thing, at the right time......PRICELESS
What day is it? Thursday.. His missus must have gone to work.
As he struggled into consciousness through the fog of a pounding headache, his stomach plummeted as he wondered what the hell he did last night..
He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was a couple of Dispirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a little vase of sweet peas, freshly picked from the garden.
He sat up. The bedroom was clean and tidy, - there was no trail of drunkenly abandoned clothes, fresh air was coming in through the window and all was serene. He stumbled to the bathroom, also pristine, and, squinting gingerly into the mirror, saw that he had a black eye. This was not a good sign, but no memories were returning.
As he concentrated hard on getting the world into focus, he saw a post-it note stuck on the corner of the mirror. It was written in red, with little hearts on it and a kiss from his missus.
'I'll ring your boss and tell them you won't be in today. Breakfast is in the oven. Try to eat something and go back to bed for the morning. iFish is on TV this afternoon. Take it easy today, hope your eye doesn't hurt too much. See you tonight. I love you, darling!
Love,
Sheila. x '
He stumbled to the kitchen and sure enough, there was hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the newspaper. His teenaged son was sitting at the table, eating.
Bruce, bracing himself, asked his son what happened the previous night.
Well, you came home after 3 A.M., pissed as a parrot and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you vomited in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. '
Confused, Bruce asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect order, Dispirins by the bed, a nice note from Mum and breakfast waiting for me?'
His son replied, 'Oh THAT!... Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your trousers off, you screamed,
'Leave me alone ya' bushpig! ..., I'm married!!'
Broken Coffee Table $350
Hot Breakfast $5.50
Two Dispirins 60 cents
Saying the right thing, at the right time......PRICELESS
